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Almost Every Hand You've Ever Shaken Has Had A D*ck In It
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You Can't Tell Me What To Do You're Not My Dog
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My Mom Didn't Raise A Dummy, And If She Did It Was My Sister
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How Sarcasm Is Made. Step One. Ask Me A Question.
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In My Defense I Was Left Unsupervised
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An Apple A Day Will Keep Anyone Away If Thrown Hard Enough
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If You're Offended I'll Help You Pack
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Not Saying Kill Stupid People Remove The Warning Labels The Problem Work Itself Out
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Today I Am Going To Give It My Some
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Duct Tape. It Can't Fix Stupid, But It Can Muffle The Sound
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People Should Seriously Stop Expecting Normal From Me We All Know It's Never
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You Can't Tell Me What To Do You're Not My Cat
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You Know What I Like About People? Their Dogs.
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Another Fine Day Ruined By Responsibility
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Drinking Rum Before Noon Makes You A Pirate, Not An Alcoholic
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Aren't We Taking The Idea That Anyone Can Be President A Little To Far?
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If You Met My Family, You Would Understand
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I Wear This Shirt Periodically
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I Did Not Mean To Offend You, That Was Just A Bonus
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You People Must Be Exhausted From Watching Me Do Everything
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I'm Sorry If I Offended You WIth My Common Sense
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If You Love Someone Let Them Sleep
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Technically The Glass Is Completely Full
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No You're right, Lets Do It The Dumbest Way Possible Because It's Easier For You
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I'm Not Lazy, I Just Enjoy Doing Nothing
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You Say I'm Crazy I Call It Mentally Unrestricted
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Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy Sometime I Let Her Sleep
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