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Contrary To Popular Belief Nobody Owes You Anything
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Every Once In A While Someone Amazing Comes Along ...And Here I Am.
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Chances Are If It's Tasteless And Inappropriate, I Will Think It's Totally Hilarious
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68 You Owe Me One
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Beer Is Proof That God Loves Us
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I Intend To Live Forever So Far So Good
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Sometimes I Amaze Myself I Can't Remember What Day It Is
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Welcome to The Gun Show
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Why Be Politically Correct When You Can Be Right
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Can Only Please One Person A Day Today Isn't Your Day Tomorrow Doesn't Look Good
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First I Drink The Coffee Then I Do The Things
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My Saturday Was Going Pretty Well Until I Realized It Was Sunday
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Let's Eat Kitty. Let's Eat, Kitty. Punctuation Saves Cats
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Bomb Technician If You See Me Running Try And Keep Up
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HAYWOOD JABLOWME
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Animals Taste Good
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National Apathy Society. Become A Member...Or Don't. We Couldn't Care Less
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Never Fear Grandpa Is Here
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I Like Golf My Dog and Maybe Three People
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Good Tidings & Cheer To Hell With This Year
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My Wife Says No
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Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?
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Life Is Short Play With Your Wiener
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Everything Will Kill You So Choose Something Fun
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I Am Older Than The Internet
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Someone's Therapist Knows All About You
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Sarcasm: It's Better Than Being Charged With Aggravated Assault
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This Is What An Amazing Dad Looks Like
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The First 40 years Of Childhood Are Always The Hardest
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I'm Cooler Than Anybody Here
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My Age Is Very Inappropriate For My Behavior
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Republican Democrat Pizza
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This Charade Of Being A Responsible Adult Has Gone On Long Enough
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Get In, Human! It's Time For Butt Stuff.
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I Deliver All Night Long
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A Day Without Internet Probably Won't Kill Me, But Why Take The Chance?
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You Can Have My Guns Bullets First
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Guns Don't Kill People Crazy Mother Fckers Kill People
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Eff You See Kay Owe Eff Eff
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Team Santa
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420 Pot Leaf
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The Police Never Think It's As Funny As You.
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I'm Not Sleeping I'm Just Resting My Eyes
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It's Fine I'm Fine Everything Is Fine
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Just Because It's A Bad Idea Doesn't Mean It's Not Going To Be A Good Time
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Easily Distracted By Dogs
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Slightly Used But In Good Condition
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It's Not That I Don't Like You...Oh Wait...Yes It Is
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