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Being An Adult is the Dumbest I've Ever Done
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I Speak Fluent Sarcasm
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This Is What Cool Looks Like
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Aliens Made Me Do It
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Lead Me No Into Temptation Follow Me I Know A Shortcut
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I'm Having One Of Those Days Where My Middle Finger
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Dear Santa, Dogs. I want Lots And Lots Of Dogs
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My Worst Decision Is Yet To Come
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I'm Already Planning What I'm Going To Eat After This
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Can't Work Today My Arm Is In A Cast
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Retired See Spouse For Details
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I Came, I Saw, I Forgot What I Was Doing
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They Call It A "Selfie" Because "Narcissitie" Is Too Hard To Spell
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Caffeine Loading Please Wait
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Abracadabra! Nope, You're Still Ugly
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Best Dad Ever
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Never Forget - Dinosaurs
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I'm Not Getting Older I'm Just Becoming a Classic
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I Disagree. But I Respect Your Right To Be Stupid
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Stop Staring At My Pumpkins
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I Should Be Ashamed Of Myself. Let's Be Clear, I'm Not. But I Should Be
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DECISION COME
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I Wonder If Pizza Thinks About Me Too
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I'm Not Fat I'm Just Easy To See
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Drunky McDrunkenson
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Oh Snap Skeleton
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It's Not Drinking Alone If Your Cat Is With You
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Vegetarian Ancient Tribe Slang For Someone Who Can Hunt Fish or Ride
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Alcohol Does Not Make You Fat It Makes You Lean Against Tables Chairs
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Not All Men Are Fools Some Of Us Stay Single
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Not All Heros Wear Capes
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Best Papa Ever
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If You Don't Sin, Jesus Died For Nothing
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Don't Be Ashamed Of Who You Are. That's Your Parents Job
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I Just Found Out I'm Awesome. You Might Want To Get Yourself Tested
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I'm Not Insane My Mother Had Me Tested
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Your Daughter Is In Good Hands
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I'm Not Sick I'm Twisted Sick Makes It Sound Like There's A Cure
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Calm Down Take A Deep Breath & Hold It For About 20 Minutes
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I might Look Like I'm Doing Nothing But In my Head I'm Quite Busy
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I See Dumb People
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Bitch Better Have My Cookies
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There Is Not "I" In Team, But There Are 5 In Individual Brillance
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I'm Kind of Surprised I'm Not An Action Figure By Now
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Fireworks Expert If You See Me Running Try And Keep Up
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GAY WARMING
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Cat Person
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Merry Drunk I'm Christmas
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