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If I Knew I Was Going To Live This Long I Would Have Taken Better Care Of Myself
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Warning You Are Now Entering A Politically Incorrect Area
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Embarrassing My Children - Just One More Service I Offer.
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I'm Really Glad No Can Hear What I'm Thinking
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The Father
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Dear Life, Would You At Least Start Using Lubricant
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I Went Outside Once. The Graphics Weren't That Great
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CATS - Because People Suck
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I Got This Shirt For My Husband Awesome Trade
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Because I'm The Dad, That's Why
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I Don't Insult People. I Accurately Describe Them
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The 2nd Amdendment Is My Gun Permit Don't Tread On Me
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Keep Talking I'm Diagnosing You
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Stupid Should Hurt
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FEMA Evacuation Plan Run MF Run
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I Can't Wait To Procrastinate
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When You Come For My Guns, You Better Bring Yours
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You Are Nothing But Treble
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Bacon Makes Everything Better!
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I Love Sarcasm. It's Like Punching Someone In The Face
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Fart Loading 35% - Please Wait
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Best Dad In The Galaxy
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It's Not You It's Me I Can't Stand You
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I May Be Crazy But Crazy Is Better Than Stupid
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Ho Ho Holy Sh*t I'm Drunk
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Insane? I Prefer The Term Mentally Hilarious
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I Piss Excellence
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Alcohol Survival Juice
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I Can't Be Responsible For What My Face Does When You Talk
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I Survived The Coronavirus 2020
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Funner Way Gooder Than Regular
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Fit Shaced St. Patrick's Day
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Dear Kids, Sorry I Yelled. In My Defense, You Were Acting Like A Bunch Of Psychos
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I Like My Sarcasm Like I Like Bacon Laid On Thick And Aimed Straight For The Heart
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The 19th Hole
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I Make Beer Disappear What's Your Super Power
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Sometimes I Wrestle With My Demons Other Times We Just Cuddle
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I'm The Quiet Neighbor With The Big Freezer
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I'm Not Always Rude & Sarcastic Sometimes I'm Asleep.
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My Weiner Does Tricks
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CHEESE HUGS
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Choose Your Weapon
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I Need A Huge Stick To Beat You With
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I Just Want To Drink Beer & Watch Football
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I Find Your Lack Of Math Disturbing
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Your Workout Is My Warmup
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Shut Your Pi Hole
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How Soon After Waking Up Is It Ok To Take A Nap
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Exercise Makes You Look Better Naked, So Does Alcohol. Your Choice
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Cheers Fuckers St. Patrick's Day
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