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Funpa Like Grandpa Only Cooler
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Weed Smile Face
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The Voices Are Back Excellent
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When I Fart You Will Be The Second To Know
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I Love Pig Butts And I Can Not Lie
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I'm Not The Type Of Person You Should Put On Speaker Phone
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According to This Box of Mac n Cheese, I am a Family of Four
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Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Whos Bringing The Chips?
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It Wasn't Me
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Trust Me As You Get To Know Me I Get Weirder
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Evil Smile Face
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Always Pray And Never Give Up
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The Older I Get, The More Everyone Can Kiss My Ass
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For My Next Trick, I Need A Condom And A Volunteer
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I Don't Think Inside The Box. I Don't Think Outside The Box Either.
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Great Dads Get Promoted To Grandpas
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Relax Were All Crazy Its Not A Competition
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Some People Say I'm Crazy If True Do You Really Think Good Idea To Fuck With Me
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Lazy People Fact #35463098210 - You Were Too Lazy To Read That Number
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Masterbait And Tackle
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At Least The War On The Middle Class Is Going Well
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A Friend Will Help You Move… But A Real Friend Will Help You Move A Body
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How To Avoid Stress At Work: Don't Go To Work
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That's It! Whoever Is In Charge Of Making Sure I Don't Do Stupid Shit Is Fired
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I Am Unable To Quit, As I Am Currently Too Legit
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Sarcasm The Body's Natural Defense Against Sarcasm
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Pretending To Be A Mature Adult Is So Exhausting
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My Brain Is Giving Me The Silent Treatment
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If You Don'T Talk To Your Cat About Catnip Who Will
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You Just Have To Take It One "Are You F*cking Kidding Me" At A Time
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Mistlestoned
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Not A Hugger
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I'm Only A Morning Person On Dec. 25th
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I'm Sorry, I Can'T Talk To You Today. I Talked To Two People Yesterday
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174 Ba Bacon Yum
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Tonight I'm Drinking Until I'm Someone Else's Problem
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A Baby Can Drink A Bottle, Fall Asleep And People Say It's Cute. If I Do, I'm An Alcoholic.
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Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History. Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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Youth and Talent Are Not Match for Youth and Treachery
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They Say Follow Your Dreams So I'm Going Back To Bed
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Do People Who Run Marathons Know They Don't Have To?
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I Just Know I'll Die Trying To Pet Something I Shouldn't
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My First Thought When I Woke Up This Morning: Nope
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I'm Not Worried About What You Think, Because I Can See You Don't Do It Very Often
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Captain Obvious
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The Head Foundation Please Give Generously
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Not Saying You're stupid. You Have Bad Luck
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So An Irishman Walks Out Of A Pub Seriously It Can Happen
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POSITIVE AWESOME
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