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Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy Other Times I Let Him Sleep
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Bitch Better Have My Cookies
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Lead Me No Into Temptation Follow Me I Know A Shortcut
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Can't you see the Go Away in my Smile?
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Don't Make Me Repeat Myself -History
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DECISION COME
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Zombie eat brains
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Department of Corrections
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You Dont Stop Playing Because You Get Old
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My Alone Time Is Sometimes For Your Saftey
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World's Goodest Homeschool Teacher
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If I Ever Go Missing, Follow My Kids. They Can Find Me Anywhere!
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Always Do Your Okayest
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If You Don't Sin, Jesus Died For Nothing
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I'm Drunk And You're Still Ugly
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Being An Adult is the Dumbest I've Ever Done
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I Speak Fluent Sarcasm
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I'm Having One Of Those Days Where My Middle Finger
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Someone, Somewhere Remembers You, Because You Were Kind to Them
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I Identity as a Pissed Off American
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I'm Growing Tired Of Being My Wife
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Marriage: One Special Person For The Rest Of Your Life
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My Worst Decision Is Yet To Come
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I'm Already Planning What I'm Going To Eat After This
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Can't Work Today My Arm Is In A Cast
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Retired See Spouse For Details
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They Call It A "Selfie" Because "Narcissitie" Is Too Hard To Spell
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Don't Be Ashamed Of Who You Are. That's Your Parents Job
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Abracadabra! Nope, You're Still Ugly
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Best Dad Ever
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Never Forget - Dinosaurs
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I'm Not Getting Older I'm Just Becoming a Classic
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I Disagree. But I Respect Your Right To Be Stupid
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I'm Not Sick I'm Twisted Sick Makes It Sound Like There's A Cure
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I See Dumb People
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Stop Staring At My Pumpkins
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I Should Be Ashamed Of Myself. Let's Be Clear, I'm Not. But I Should Be
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Mr Fix It Fathers Day T Shirt
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Blows my Mind That there is 3.8 Billion Women On this Earth… And its still not Clean
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Rights Don't End Where Feelings Begin
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I Wish Santa Would Publish His Naughty List
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Merry Drunk I'm Christmas
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I Wonder If Pizza Thinks About Me Too
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I'm Not Fat I'm Just Easy To See
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Best Papa Ever
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