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When This Virus Is Over I Still Want Some People To Stay Away From Me
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I Gotta See The Candy First. Then I Get In The Van. I'm Not Stupid
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I See No Go Reason To Act My Age
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Just Pretend I'm Not Here That's What I'm Doing
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I Am Currently Unsupervised - I Know, It Freaks Me Out Too. But The Possibilities Are Endless!
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I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes She Hugged Me
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I'm Mom's Favorite
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People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes.
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I'm Going To Go Stand Outside, So If Anyone Asks, I'm Outstanding
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I Hate It When The Voices Go Silent
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I Got Your Back!
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I'm not anti-social. I'm selectively social. There's a difference
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Remember When I Asked For Your Opinion? Yeah...Me Neither
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Common Sense Is So Rare These Days, It Should Be Classified As A Super Power
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It's OK I'm on 500mgs. of Fukitol
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Don't Grow Up, It's A Trap!
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The Fact That There's A Highway To Hell and Only A Stairway To Heaven Says A Lot
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This Is Not A Drill
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Well That's Not A Good Sign
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Every Day, Thousands Of Innocent Plants Are Killed By Vegetarians
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I'd Love To Explain It To You But I Don't Have Any Crayons
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If You Say Gullible Slowly, It Sounds Like Oranges
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6 Out Of 7 Dwarfs Are Not Happy
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If I'm Ever On Life Support Unplug Me Then Plug Me Back In See If That Works
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Have You Ever Listened To Someone For A While And Wondered
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If You Don't Want A Sarcastic Answer, Don't Ask A Stupid Question
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Admit It... Life Would Be Boring Without Me.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
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You Read My Shirt...That's Enough Social Interaction
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Never Forget
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I've Done Terrible Things For Money Like Waking Up Early To Go To Work
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I Paused My Game To Be Here
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I May Be Old, But I Got To See All The Cool Bands
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My Favorite Childhood Memory Is My Back Not Hurting.
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You Know The Little Thing Inside Your Head That Keeps Saying Things You Shouldn't
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Hate When People Accuse Me Of Lolly Gagging When I'm Quite Clearly Dilly Dallying
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You Had Me At "We'll Make It Look Like An Accident"
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I Ate Some Pi ...And It Was Delicious!
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I Didn't Mean to Push Your Buttons, I Was Just Looking For Mute!
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Naughty Nice Tried My Best
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I Often Worry About The Safety Of My Children
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Some Days, It's Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Restraints
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Try Saying "Do I Smell Popcorn" After You Fart, So Everybody Takes A Deep Breath.
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How To Pick Up Chicks
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Surprise Sex Is The Best Thing To Wake Up To. Unless You're In Prison
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I'm Only Responsible For What I Say, Not For What You Understand
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A Salt With A Deadly Weapon
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Lets Go Brandon
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