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If You See Someone Crying, Ask If It's Because Of Their Haircut
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Baseball Is Wrong, Man With Four Balls Cannot Walk
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You Think I'm Condescending Do You Even Know What That
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Um The Element Of Confusion
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I Like Cooking My Family And My Pets. Use Commas. Don't Be A Psycho
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Its All Shits And Giggles Until Someone Giggles And Shits
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Some People Just Need A Sympathetic Pat...On The Head...With A Hammer
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I Love Sleeping It's Like Being Dead Without The Commitment
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Here I Am, Now What Are Your Other 2 Wishes
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Dogs Make Me Happy. You, Not So Much
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Counting To Ten Only Makes It Premeditated
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SaleFour Twenty Clock
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Sarcastic Comment Loading
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It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Loses A Nut
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Save The Chubby Unicorn
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Social Distancing Champion
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I'm Trying To Give Up Sexual Innuendos, But It's Hard...So Hard
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World's Tallest Leprechaun
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Algebra Stop Asking Us To Find Your X She's Never Coming Back Don't Ask Y
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Sarcasm Is An Art If It Was A Science I'd Have My PHD
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I Can't Believe How Old People My Age Are
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You Ever Have One Of Those Days? Fuck: Off, You, Me, Us, It, Everything, This
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I Hate It When I Think Buying Organic Vegetables
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SalePeople Not A Big Fan
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Sometimes I Have To Tell Myself, It's Just Not Worth The Jail Time
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My Husband's Wife Is Freaking Awesome True Story
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I Lost An Electron Are You Positive
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Never Mistake My Silence For Weakness No One Plans A Murder Out Loud
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I'm Awake Please Respect My Privacy During This Difficult Time
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My Mind Is Like Internet Browser 19 Tabs 3 Frozen No Idea Where The Music Is From
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The Tree Isn't The Only Thing Getting Lit This Year
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A Quiet Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quiet Woman Is Usually Mad
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Pretty Sure I'm Going To Be One Of The Senior Citzens That Bites Everyone
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Sometimes I Drink Water Just To Suprise My Liver
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Critical Thinking The Other National Deficit
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Dear Santa, I Can Explain.
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When Nothing Is Going Right Go Fishing
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SaleEnjoy Bacon
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I'm Not Stubborn, My Way Is Just Better
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Cleverly Disguised As An Adult
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Be The Reason Someone Smiles Today. Or The Reason They Drink. Whatever Works.
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The Voices In My Head Have Great Ideas
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I Look At People Sometimes And Think For Real Thats The Sperm That Won
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While You We're Reading This, I Farted
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SaleThis Is Only A Drill
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When I Grow Up I'd Like To Be A Retired Lottery Winner
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Dogs Because People Suck
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Logic: The Art Of Being Wrong With Confidence
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The Problem With Socialism Is That You Eventually Run Out Of Other People's
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