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What If I Told You, You Read The First Line Wrong
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As Long As Everything Is Exactly The Way I Want It I'm Totally Flexible
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I'm Sexy And I Snow It
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I Work So My Dog Can Have A Better Life
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United States In God We Trust
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First Rule Of The OCD Club Is There Has To Be A Second Rule
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Comma Sutra
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If People Could Read My Mind... I'd Get Punched In The Face A Lot
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I Don't Hold Grudges I Remember Facts
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Have You Seen Mike Hunt?
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National Sarcasm Society | Like We Need Your Support
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According to This Box of Mac n Cheese, I am a Family of Four
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Defund The Media
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My Drug Of Choice iS Love From Jesus. Just Kidiing It's Weed
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Adult Is Easy Like Riding Bike Except The Bike On Fire Everything On Fire In Hell
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That's It! Whoever Is In Charge Of Making Sure I Don't Do Stupid Shit Is Fired
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You Can't Drink All Day Unless You Start In The Morning
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If A Man Speaks In The Forest And There's No Woman To Hear Him, Is He Still Wrong
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My Dog and I Talk Shit About You
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My Retirement Plan Hinges On Having At Least One Successful Kid
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The Older I Get, The More Everyone Can Kiss My Ass
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I Want You To Know That Someone Out There Cares
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It Wasn't Me
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Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be A Unicorn Then Always Be A Unicorn
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Lets keep the Stupid to a Minimum Today
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He He He Laughing Gas
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How To Avoid Stress At Work: Don't Go To Work
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My Sense Of Humor Earns Me Countless Awkward Glances
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Without Music Life Would B Flat
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Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Whos Bringing The Chips?
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Father The Noble Element
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I'm Not Gay But $20 is $20
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Pretending To Be A Mature Adult Is So Exhausting
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My Brain Is Giving Me The Silent Treatment
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The Voices Are Back Excellent
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Come Visit Beautiful Guantanamo Bay Cuba
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Trust Me As You Get To Know Me I Get Weirder
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I'm Not The Type Of Person You Should Put On Speaker Phone
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Evil Smile Face
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Someone Should Carry a Plant, To Replace the Oxygen They Waste
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Mens Regular Tee (5 Tees Grab Bag) - You Pick Size, We Pick Design
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Do People Who Run Marathons Know They Don't Have To?
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Funpa Like Grandpa Only Cooler
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Weed Smile Face
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I'm Only A Morning Person On Dec. 25th
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I Love Pig Butts And I Can Not Lie
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They Say Follow Your Dreams So I'm Going Back To Bed
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A Friend Will Help You Move… But A Real Friend Will Help You Move A Body
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Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History. Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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You are about to Exceed the limit of my Medication
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