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It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Looses A Weiner
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F It Im Going Hunting
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What the Hell… Lets See What Happens
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The TouchDown Shirt!
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I Am Your Father
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Whoever Said That Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend Never Owned A Dog
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I Don’t Like Making Plans For The Day. Because, Then The Word "Premeditated" Gets Thrown Around The Courtroom
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Always Remember You're Unique, Just Like Everyone Else
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Row Row Row Your Boat Gently Off A Cliff
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Avoid Negativity f(x)=|x|
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Come To The Math Side We Have Pi
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My Cat Thinks I'm Cool
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Reason To Vote For Democrats
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Growing Old Is Mandatory. Growing Up Is Optional.
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Regular How Fast Can You Guess
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There's A Fine Line Between Genius And Crazy I Like To Use That Line As Jump Rope
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You Inspire My Inner Serial Killer
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Revenge Is Beneath Me
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Festivus For The Rest Of Us
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I Got A Dig Bick. You That Read Wrong. You Read That Wrong Too.
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Remember, If You Can't Say Anything Nice Make It Funny
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NASA Official Meatball Logo
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What Chapter Of Revelations Are We Living In Now?
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Best Dog Dad Ever
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Super Mom Super Wife Super Tired
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That's Mr. Asshole To You
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People Keep Thinking That I Care Weird
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After Monday and Tuesday
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I Was So Drunk Last Night The Police Pulled Somebody Over On TV & I Put My Beer Under The Sofa
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Dogs Are God's Way Of Apologizing For Your Relatives
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The Older I Get The Earlier It Gets Late
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Don't Believe Everything You Read On The Internet Just Because There's A Picture With Quote Next To It - Abraham Lincoln
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The Beatings Will Continue Until Moral Improves
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I Never Finish Anythi Anything
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Name The Triangles
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I Am Your Father
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I Nap Periodically
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Patience: What You Have When There Are Too Many Witnesses
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I Don't Care Who Dies In A Movie As Long As The Dog Lives
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Losing Faith In Humanity
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Fireworks Director. I Run, You Run
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Someone Tore Off my Warning Label, When I was Born
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Its not Procrastination, if you have no intention of doing it..
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A Baby Can Drink A Bottle, Fall Asleep And People Say It's Cute. If I Do, I'm An Alcoholic.
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People In Sleeping Bags Are The Soft Tacos Of the Bear World
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Relax Were All Crazy Its Not A Competition
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This Is How I Roll
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I Pooped Today
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When I Fart You Will Be The Second To Know
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