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Logic: The Art Of Being Wrong With Confidence
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Dear Alcohol, We Had A Deal
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I Wonder If Beer Thinks About Me Too..?
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I Lost An Electron Are You Positive
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When Nothing Is Going Right Go Fishing
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If I Agree With You We'll Both Be Wrong
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Some People Just Need A Pat On The Back
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Home Is Where The WIFI Connects Automatically
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I May Be Wrong But I Doubt It
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Always Jingle All The Way Nobody Likes A Half A**ed Jingler
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Critical Thinking The Other National Deficit
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This Is Only A Drill
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Pat McCrotch
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World's Tallest Leprechaun
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The Problem With Socialism Is That You Eventually Run Out Of Other People's
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Government Is Not The Solution To Our Problem, Government Is The Problem
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Don't Yell At Your Kids. Lean In And Whisper
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Refuse To Engage In A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
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For A Minute There You Bored Me To Death
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Dog Texting Codes
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I Like You But If If Zombies Chase Us I'm Tripping You
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I Feel Pretty Young For My Age Until I Try To Do Anything
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Equal Rights For Other Does Not Mean Less Rights For You
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Sometimes I Have To Tell Myself, It's Just Not Worth The Jail Time
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Well Another Day Has Passed And I Didn't Use Algebra Once
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Not to Brag Or Anything But I can forget what I'm doing
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You All Realize I'm Going to Snap One Day Right
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1 Cross 3 Nails 4 Given
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A Quiet Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quiet Woman Is Usually Mad
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Be The Reason Someone Smiles Today. Or The Reason They Drink. Whatever Works.
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Yet Despite The Look On My Face You Are Still Talking
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The Voices In My Head Have Great Ideas
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Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck
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Don't Tell Me What to Do Unless You're Naked
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When I Grow Up I'd Like To Be A Retired Lottery Winner
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Sometimes I Meet People And Feel Sorry For Their Dog
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There's No Award For Stupid, So Stop Competing
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Not To Get Technical, But According To Chemistry, Alcohol Is A Solution
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I Think My Guardian Angel Drinks
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I Know Right From Wrong. Wrong Is The Fun One.
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My Silence Doesn't Mean I Agree With You. It's Just That Your Level Of Ignorance
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A Scientific Study Shows That If You Are Reading This...You Are Not Blind
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Wooden Spoon Survivor
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I'm Just Here To Establish An Alibi
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Stand For The Flag Kneel For The Cross Shirt!
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Shut Up Liver. You're Fine.
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